Six Effective Parenting Skills That Lead to Accountability
We have come to the conclusion that the target we are aiming for as effective parents is to raise our kids so that they become responsible and successful young adults. Keeping this goal in focus, helps us hone our skills to that aim. At times, when the direction seems murky, coming back to this decision helps us decide which way to turn.
What are these effective parenting skills? Well, if you have a child who is acting out and talking back, there is a good chance he has hit a problem he cannot solve. Then keeping your goal in mind, teach them how to solve the problem. With this teaching also comes accountability. Let them know what will they can expect from their actions. Of course, you cannot hit every scenario, but give them a general idea, both for good choices and bad ones.
1. Problem solving journey. The best way to approach this important life skill is to start at the earliest age possible. If they make the mess, they clean it up. Teach them one block at a time. Then face the next problem with that same mindset, one step at a time. This in itself is teaching them problem solving at the core level, from stepping back to form a plan of action through to completion. Let them try, and fail if necessary. Do not rescue!
2. Coach him forward. If you watch the last 2 minutes of a close NFL game you’ll notice the coach is usually all business and no emotion. This should be our goal as parents. We’re the trainers for the skills our children need to become successful, responsible adults. We need to be patient and calm as they go through the learning process.
3. Teach by example. Remember - monkey see, monkey do. If they see you calmly approaching the problems that you encounter in your life, they will learn to do the same. Also use life situations to teach. Have them pay for their item at the store, or order and pay for their food at a fast food restaurant. These are little things to us, but not to kids. As they become comfortable with these small tasks, they’ll be more able to handle the bigger ones as they grow older.
4. Be wise on when and what you teach them. Use your parent’s gauge to determine what level of maturity they are at to determine what they can be successful at within a reasonable amount of time. Our goal is to teach them not defeat them. Let the bedspread be crooked and the crumbs be swept from the counter to the floor. Save perfecting these skills for the appropriate times down the road.
5. Encourage their own problem solving techniques. When they start into adolescence, its time to let them try out what they have learned, on their own. Your job is to let go of more and more control, and praise and encourage their willingness to step up.
6. Mistakes are opportunities waiting to happen. Life is a series of successes and setbacks. Both present wonderful opportunities, each with the goal of training up successful, responsible adults. Remember, failures are not the end of the world. Just a flag that more training is possibly needed.
Parenting is a daunting task, especially when it comes to teenagers. Hopefully, these tips will help you to have the most effective parenting skills possible.
Matt writes articles about parenting and child raising including articles about Does Total Transformation work and James Lehman.



