ADD and ADHD are 2 abbreviated phrases which refer to kids afflicted with certain behavioural challenges. ADD signifies Attention Deficit Disorder whilst ADHD is Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder. Small children are diagnosed with these problems when they exhibit abnormally difficult behavior in the home and at school. ADD/ADHD is thought to have an effect on up to Five percent of school aged youngsters and it is more common in boys compared to girls.

ADD/ADHD has a few classic signs and symptoms that may often become clear prior to school age. Hyperactive and impulsive behavior are usually first to be recognised because children are unusually difficult to take care of. These kinds of children seem to not acquire a feeling of risk and must be kept under control in places like the road as well as in grocery stores etc. These children appear not to learn from recurrent scolding over their actions and although can be contrite for a time, they erase the memory of it rapidly and soon move on to something else. Children who behave like this are usually deemed ADHD as opposed to ADD.

Some kids aren’t always hyper and can display indicators that seem to be rather lethargic. They may seem somewhat dreamy as well as unresponsive. Youngsters may have a brief attention span and may not sit for long doing one thing. Rather than jump about however, they may just slip into a world of their own or appear aimless in their activities. Children who seem to conduct themselves this way might be ADD but it is fairly typical for ADD/ADHD youngsters to display a mixture of both types of behavior.

It is very common for ADD/ADHD children to have associated problems with social skills. Their hyperactive or withdrawn behaviour makes it tough for them to interact normally with other kids. A number of ADHD children tend to be susceptible to excessive aggressiveness and loudness. Others may disrespect ideas of possession and can be harmful of toys etc. These kinds of traits further alienate other young children and without positive interaction with a peer group an ADD/ADHD youngster may well miss out on valuable societal lessons. Families should try to be on hand to assist their boy or girl play properly.

Continual naughtiness means that ADD/ADHD kids are forever getting reprimanded by grown ups. Their troublesome behaviour becomes reinforced by being continually reminded just how bad they have been. Families should be firm and present a structured environment however they should avoid this kind of negative routine. The child could wind up missing vital socialisation fundamentals which occur at a early age and are learned via adults around them.

The causes of ADD/ADHD are unknown even though there do appear to be a few correlating facts which frequently exist along side instances of the affliction. For example, youngsters with ADHD frequently have a relative who also has the malady. This may indicate that there’s a genetic factor involved in predisposition. A higher rate of ADD/ADHD cases are diagnosed in youngsters whose mothers were heavy smokers or abused drugs during pregnancy. Neurological findings have suggested that there could be some brain irregularities in areas that have an impact on self control and concentration.

It may be difficult to specifically recognise ADD/ADHD in kids because of the difficulties in distinguishing between the affliction and reasonably typical misbehaviour in kids. Almost all youngsters will at sometime end up being hyperactive, disobedient or unable to focus. Families will need to seek guidance if behaviour is severe and persistent.

ADD and ADHD are treated by a combination of drugs and behavioural counseling. Early diagnosis is very important because with proper management, young children have the ability to conduct a reasonably normal life at school. If left without treatment ADD/ADHD tends to get worse as the youngster grows older. Should you be concerned that your child might be afflicted with ADD/ADHD don’t be afraid to look for help.

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Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a condition that can afflict children. People suffering from ADHD have symptoms such as:

1) Poor concentration and attention span

2) Poor memory

3) The are very impulsive and do things without thinking.

4) Their frequent temper tantrums and outbursts are a result of easy frustration

While most children as well as adults face similar difficulties during daily routine, those children who suffer from ADHD have a far larger frequency of these difficulties. The extent is so acute that they are unable to undertake tasks such as:

a) at school (they are not able to pay attention or finish their work in time or they can be disruptive and destructive in class, may be talking excessively in the class )

b) at home (are not able to finish chores, are clumsy, get into fights with siblings and more)

c) in society (Often bossy and overbearing, show aggression, get frustrated easily and then have temper outbursts, and more)

ADHD is not a disease or illness in the sense that it is caused by germs, by injury, or by a clearly defined physical malfunction (such as asthma or diabetes). It is simply the result of parts of the brain not working at full efficiency.

What is clear is that ADHD does run in families and is at least partially genetic - often a parent has the same symptoms. What is also clear is that the symptoms, and therefore the problems, are long term. They are not going to go away or be cured in a short period of time, but are almost certainly going to continue through into the teen years, and probably even into adulthood.

HOW IS ADHD MANAGED?

The big concern for children with ADHD is the danger of developing long term complications. For example:

a) Their fear of failure at school owing to poor concentration, leading to school drop out

b) they may be constantly in trouble because of their impulsivity and so be excluded from school and end up with the police,

c) Their fear of taking recourse to anti-depressants such as drinks, drugs, crime etc to avoid getting anxious and depressed.

All of these may then have long term implications even into adulthood.

Effective management of ADHD starts at home. Parents have to be very patient and give their best to their child. The treatment of ADHD is very long, but it has to be given to the child so that he is a better adjusted adult. The goal is to prevent those long term compliations. Since you as the parent know your child the best, it is you who will have to take an active part in the management of his ADHD. An effective ADHD management program should include the following components:

COMMITTED PARENTS. These are parents who work wholeheartedly towards the betterment of the child. There is more than adequate information available in the form of books and videos to guide parents on how o assist their ADHD afflicted child. They just need to buy or borrow these read them and be better informed abut this so as to be effective. It is good to discuss what you read with a professional or a local support group as there is a lot of mis-information on this subject. This is especially from self professed guru’s who profess magic-cures for your child.

GOOD COMMUNICATION. Communication between the school and the home is very important for effective management. This enables you to discuss solutions and implement them for an effective output.

ADJUSTMENTS IN THE ENVIRONMENT. Children with ADHD perform best under one-on-one conditions and exhibit worse behavior in chaotic situations. They prefer a quiet, calm and structured environment against a noisy place. As parents, we must ensure similar less stressful surrounding for the child by re-organizing our lives if required.

CLEAR BEHAVIORAL MANAGEMENT STRATEGY Children with ADHD have to be given clear and exact instructions and expectations. If they are clear on the reward and punishment system then they will adjust their behavior accordingly. The support or the social worker can help you devise strategies for a Clear behavioral management program to help your child.

SUPPORT FOR THE PARENTS. Looking after children with ADHD can be very stressful for the parents. Bringing up these children can be very taxing. At times it may lead to depression and marital breakdown in parents. To help the parents to cope with the stress of bringing up a ADHD child, the parents should also consult the parent support groups and parents training groups, marital counseling, and family therapy etc.

MEDICATION. Medication is not a cure, but can be an invaluable help. Getting it right is important and so you will need to work closely with your key worker and doctor. The goal of medication is to reduce the symptoms so as to give the child the opportunity to learn academic, social, and other life skills. By itself, however, it is unlikely to solve all the problems and so cannot be used as an excuse to opt out of the above ingredients.

There are several types of medication that are used. The most common are the “stimulants” (discussed on the next page), but increasingly common is the new medication atomoxetine, which seems to work very well with few side effects. Ask your doctor for full information.

Health professional can only help the parents solve particular problems of your child, but they can not bring up your child for you. They will also help you clear your doubts on how to handle certain situations.

The person who has to cope with this is you and your family. Therefore, this is best addressed by you and the first step towards this is to learn as much as you can. Learning all you can results in better management and better results.

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Temper tantrums usually happen with out any notice at all. Your child is happy and content one second and the next you have a crying, screaming, stomping child. It seems that temper tantrums are just a part of being a young kid. When your children reach around eight and ten the tantrums seem to change a little but do not be fooled because they are in fact still tantrums.

A toddler is not able to voice their feelings because they do not have the language skills they need. This is usually what leads to tantrums. Even if your toddler can understand everything you say, they still may not be able to put their feelings into words just yet. If they are already upset, they will get even more upset because they can not explain it to you. This is why we have tantrums.

Staying calm during a temper tantrum is the best thing to do. Listening to reason is not on your child’s list of things to do immediately. However you will get a negative response from them if you are yelling or threatening them. If your child is no longer thrashing around, you should hold your child. When your child feels your embrace it will likely help them start calming down.

As the parent you have to be strong, you can not give in to their unreasonable demands. Once you give in to a temper tantrum things will only get worse. They will use tantrums whenever they want something. If you happen to be in public during a temper tantrum do not give in just to quite your child. The people that are looking at you now will not be around later when you are dealing with the consequences of your actions. You are never going to see these people again so who cares what they say?

When your children get a little bit older the temper tantrums are still there, they are just not so frequent. You will also find that the issues that bring on tantrums are very different. A six year old is learning to read and is becoming increasingly frustrated and so the tantrum begins. If this is happening to you, it is time to explain that he has got to you words to express his feelings but it absolutely has to be done with respect.

You may find that at around age ten your child’s tantrums have gotten a little out of hand and can even be dangerous. At this age a child is much stronger than they were at two. If they are throwing things or hitting they can hurt themselves as well as someone else. There are two things that you could try. First remove all of the child’s belongings from the room. Anything they can pick up should come out of their room. Next put them in there room when a tantrum starts.

Your child will still be able to yell and hit the walls but if there is nothing to throw then they will likely calm down sooner. Do not give the items back to the child until he or she has shown you that they can restrain themselves and not have temper tantrums. At this age it is just bad behavior to throw a temper tantrum.

Now that your kid is older they are capable of expressing their feelings without being negative. They are only doing it to get their way. Do not give them what they want, if you do the tantrums will only get worse. Show your child that you are serious.

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Parenting advice for kids that are not yet teenagers is something a lot of parents need. I can not begin to give advice on the teenage years. You will need people a lot more qualified than I am to give you advise on teens, Nope not me, I am not going to even try. Why don’t we just concentrate on advice for the younger children. The important years for shaping your children into the person they are going to be.

You will probably agree that being a parent is often hard but rewarding. It is not always easy to know if we are doing the right thing when it comes to our child. The best advice I have is no matter what you are doing, if it has anything to do with your child, always do it out of love. When punishing your child, do not do it out of anger, do it out of love. The best thing that we as parents can ever do for our child is love them.

Some things need to be kept in mind when raising a toddler. You will have times when your toddler just breaks down and throws a temper tantrum. The best way to stop it, is to prevent it. Toddlers that are at home all day with a parent need exercise, a short walk or something similar is a great way to give them the exercise they need. Also remember to play with your toddler, I do not mean spending the whole day entertaining your toddler, that would be very unrealistic.

When a toddler has enough stimulation and is kept busy they tend to be a lot easier to deal with. The temper tantrums will likely decrease if you keep your toddler on a schedule. A toddler likes being able to know what is coming next and a schedule helps them to know. A toddler feels more secure when they are aware of what has to be done. This will make bedtime and nap time much easier for both of you.

Once a child has outgrown the toddler years and is now school aged things will begin to change for both of you. A child just starting school feels like a big kid finally. You just have to start treating them like they are a big kid. One piece of good advice is to give your kindergartner a few easy chores, and this will be the beginning of teaching them responsibility. You need to take into consideration the age of the child when you are giving them a chore. You should not expect a five year old to clean the kitchen.

When it is time to discipline your school age child, especially the ones that have just started school you should expect a few melt downs. A kindergartner has still not quite outgrown the toddler ways and they may just start throwing a tantrum like they use to. This would be the perfect time to start teaching them to voice their feelings. You should tell you child that telling you his is mad or frustrated is fine, but that it needs to be done with respect.

Getting this advice to work on every child every time is not likely to happen. There will come times when tougher discipline is in order. If things are getting out of hand, no matter the child’s age it is time for the parent to put a stop to it. We all want to be understanding and sweet to our kids but let’s face it that is not always the best way to handle things. Tough love is something every parent has to give their child at some point and that is perfectly fine.

Most people prefer to not spank their kids, there are many other ways to discipline without spanking. A time out is a great way to discipline toddlers and younger children. What can you do about your older children? A time out will not likely work for a ten or twelve year old. The best discipline for a child that age is find something they love and take it away. Take something that your child uses daily or at least quite often and put it away until the behavior has stopped.

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Television is a fact of life, and there are few families that don’t have one, or that never watch one. Television can also be educational, informative, and uplifting. But, let’s face it - the vast majority of what is shown on TV is pure drivel - it is far from uplifting or educational, and often portrays behavior that would be quite unacceptable in most social circles. Even worse, it often portrays that behavior as normal, or even desirable.

Besides the garbage that is fed into your child, television eats into the time your child would have otherwise spent in physical activity or in meaningful conversation. Watching television has turned normal healthy individuals into ‘couch potatoes’ since it is a largely passive and solitary activity that is detrimental to healthy social behavior.

That television influences behaviors is evident from the billions of dollars spent on advertisements. It is the sheer repetition of it that works on the minds of people and comes to surface at the time of making choices.

If parents could have their way, they would probably want to throw the TV out of the window, but that will not solve the problem. So, look at the problem in the face and do something to limit your child’s exposure to it to reasonable amounts. Here are some suggestions:

1. Start with your own behavior. If you spend 4 hours a day watching soaps and sitcoms is it any surprise that your child does too? The biggest challenge for a parent is to be a good role model. It is not what you say, it is what you do that will most influence your kids!

2. If not TV then what? First for yourself, and then for your children, find alternative activities that are healthy and pro-social. The obvious ones are taking up some sports or hobbies - football, hockey, swimming, karate, dancing, painting, scrap-booking, collecting stamps, coins, or butterflies, model railways, woodworking or cross-stitch - the list is endless. But, yes, you actually have to DO something to make this work! If you really just want to relax and chill-out - what about reading a good novel, or even a graphical novel (aka comic book) while listening to your favorite music?

Take a visit to your local recreation center and/or adult education center and see what programs and classes they have on offer. Make a deal with your child that if he attends one of his choice you will offer some incentive.

3. Establish some baseline rules - eg. No TV before school, or after X pm, or during meals. Or maybe have a regular TV-free day: no TV on Tuesdays, for example.

4. Pre-schedule television - ie. People can only watch what has been pre-booked. This cuts out aimless channel surfing. Instead the family will have to look up the TV guide and find something that is actually worth watching.

5. You can draw up a chart to use television time as a reward for other activities, such as completing household chores, or getting homework done.

6. Watch television together - and then talk about what you viewed. You can discuss the program itself - its values, its quality of acting and scripting - or you can discuss the commercials. Doing the latter is a very valuable exercise as it helps children to be less naive and gullible when it comes to advertising. See if you, as a family, can figure out what strings the adverts are trying to pull to get you to want and buy their product. Do the toys and foods live up to the hype when you actually go and buy them?

7. Remember to be reasonable and fair while turning off the television. Wait till the show is over and give some reasonable warning.

8. Cancel your expensive cable and satelite subscriptions and use the extra money either for other activities or else to rent movies. This discourages aimless channel surfing and, instead, encourages you, as a family, to go out, choose a movie, and watch it together - without ads! Combine this with a home-cooked pizza or nachos and you have the makings of a special family night instead of the usual couch potato routine.

All said and done, beware of going to the other extreme. Don’t become overly critical of the television either. Remember, excess of everything is bad. Be selective. Find the good programs and watch them together. Engage in physical activities and be more sociable. Very soon you will wonder how you and your kids ever found the time to watch so much of television.

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Every parent has expectations from their children, but some have unreasonable expectations. These expectations are formed unconsciously from our own wants and desires. Often parents want to see their children achieve what they themselves couldn’t. This is an unreasonable expectation. It is not necessary that your child will have the same talent and aptitude that you may want him to have.

The key is to have positive and reasonable expectations for your children. How do you establish a set of positive child discipline expectations? How do you know if your child discipline expectation is even reasonable? These aren’t easy questions to answer.

How do you know if an expectation is reasonable? The first thing to do is research. Does it seem like a lot of work? It just might be. Parenting isn’t easy. You make it up as you go along, based on the foundations and parenting advice left to you by others and your own heart to guide you.

And, inside, look at yourself objectively, or put yourself in the shoes of the child and you will get a fairly good idea whether it is you or your children who are being unreasonable.

If you know your child is doing his or her best in school, and they are an average student, expecting average grade work is reasonable because they are doing their best and you know it’s their best. Child behavior expectations take a bit of common sense. And it is important to establish reasonable expectations of your children.

Remember, unreasonable expectations lead to disappointment. You can save yourself a lot of frustration if you keep your expectations reasonable. Unreasonable expectations can damage the self-esteem of the child irreparably. So, be very conscious of what you expect your child do; he may not be able to measure up to some of your expectations.

It is equally important to convey your reasonable expectation in child behavior to your child. You can formulate a set of goals in different areas of child discipline, and hold to them. Make sure to reward your children for meeting those expectations and encourage them to reach more, once they’ve reached one.

Children thrive on love and praise. Encouraged by rewards they strive to reach higher goals. Never try to impose your desires onto your children. If you couldn’t achieve your goals, don’t re-live your dreams through your children. That only creates negative environment, child behavior problems and child discipline issues. Reasonable expectations promote growth and positive self image and are an essential parenting skill.

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Anyone who has children will at some point need to take some advice about an aspect of raising their child. It can be very hard at times knowing what to do for the best in some situations and some people need parenting tips whether advice taken from friends and family or via informative articles.

The problems you encounter are age dependant. There are obviously a different set of problems that can crop up with a two year old, than you would have with a 12 year old. But in both these cases a hefty dose of patience and a calm exterior can go a long way in helping to resolve issues and clashes.

If your younger child is shy with other people and is reluctant to leave your side, you need to make sure that they are aware you will always return and that you are not going anywhere when they are unaware.

leaving them and not saying goodbye is likely to make their separation worse. They will cling more if you do this as they know that as soon as they leave you, you will go and not say bye. So they will not leave you. Always tell them where you are going and when you will be coming back to get them. Arrange a special treat for when you come back to them.

when it comes to older children misbehaving you need to make them aware of the fact that their actions if they misbehave will hold consequences. Such as once they have misbehaved you will not let them do something they like, such as meeting up with friends at the weekend. Or not allowing them to watch their favourite DVD.

This is not likely to work with the older age range and sending them to their room to calm down is better. Equally you need to take some time and space so that you do not start shouting at them and making the situation even worse, particularly when the child is 12 and heading towards puberty and is hormonal and argumentative.

it is very normal for your child to want to do whatever their friends are doing. You may feel that they are too young to be doing those things, such as unescorted trips to the cinema for example.

If you say no, then there is a chance their friends will not be so understanding about the reasons why your child cannot go with them and your child will be cross with you about this. Try a compromise; say they can go if you take them into town rather than they get the bus, and you will stay in the shopping complex, but not with them and their friends, in case they need you.

Similarly another issue can be letting your daughter wear make up at a young age. If all their friends are doing it, they will want to know why they cannot. Getting into an argument about it will not solve it so talk about it logically and tell them they have plenty of years to wear make up when they get older and that they are beautiful as they are.

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“I need help! My 9 year old daughter has started resisting school. She misses several days every week, complaining of tummy or head aches. When I try to talk to her she screams and cries. She acts as if she’s terrified to go.”

Situations like this require a firm hand. Do not be tempted to wait and hope that she will eventually go to school by herself. If left too long, she may never go back.

At the same time, recognize that her anxiety and distress are genuine. Getting angry at her will not work.

You need to find out what is troubling her. It could be school phobia ( a fear of school), separation anxiety (fear of leaving you or the home) or agoraphobia (fear of crowds and public places). These are all very real disorders.

If it might be the first, check if she is being bullied, teased, embarrassed, or abused at, or on the way to, school. Work closely with the teachers to identify and deal with any problematic situations.

Take her to the doctor for a complete physical examination. Tell the doctor the whole story and ask him to rule out any serious illnesses.

Once the doctor has done this, believe him! Do not chase after ever more expensive tests. From this point onwards your assumption is that the child is well and so should be in school. Give her firm and confident reassurance that both she and you will be fine when she is there. If she complains again of being unwell you then have two options:

First, get her to school unless you determine that she truly is sick. In that case she would be running a fever, or have nausea and/ or diarrhea, etc. If she just tells you she doesn’t feel well, that isn’t enough to let her stay home. Adults often go to work with uncomfortable symptoms.

The second option is to take her word for it and act accordingly. Since she is ill, she should be in bed. Turn off her lights, close the curtains, and don’t allow any TV or special snacks. Just go about your daily routine and don’t give her any attention. Make sure that being at home is as boring as can be. If she can’t sleep, then she should work on her studies. Don’t allow any visitors.

Establish some incentives for her to go to school. Some kind of reward or privilege would be in order.

Be firm and remain calm. Let her know that you expect her to go to school, but don’t argue with her if she resists. The goal her is for her to want to go back to school. Once she goes and finds out that she’s fine, her previous symptoms should disappear.

If none of this works, or if you are concerned about a serious depression or anxiety disorder, seek professional help through your family doctor.

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If you are a parent raising children to the best of your ability to instill values and character you have come to realize it is not an easy task. For some parents it is a harder job than realized especially when kids progress in age. Staring early with child discipline is a skill you develop. If you are struggling, here are a few ideas.

It is easier for the child to understand and be receptive to discipline if you start at early ages. If you let the years go by without discipline, it adds and leads to behavior problems that are escalated and hard to correct if you wait too long. At that point the child will be resistant and angry.

Oftentimes when our kids are so young, they are so adorable, cute and very precious, and we tend to let things slide. Some kids are down-right spoiled. This is a big mistake. When the youngsters do something wrong, you should tackle the problem immediately. This is how they learn. Acting like nothing happened won’t make it go away.

It is extremely important when you are training toddlers that you can lead by example. Take the time to explain to them why what they did was incorrect. Let them know what will happen if they repeat the behavior. Then the best medicine is to let them correct it.

Scenarios of how effective discipline works is perhaps the child went into the bathroom and put the toothbrushes, toothpaste and towels on the floor or in the toilet bowl. A way to address this action would be to set rules for the child based on your expectations. Explain why this should not be done. Then teach the child responsibility through punishment of helping to clean up the mess.

Some parents find using time outs work. This is isolating the child from everything having them sit somewhere to think about what they have done. During this process having them read books for kids to build character or writing is a beneficial activity.

There are a variety of things you can do in child discipline situations when you are getting to the close to teen years. For 10-12 year old children, they can be disciplined by doing chores. Helping the neighbors wash cars or take trash out on trash day or pull weeds in their yard. For harsher discipline, have the child volunteer to pick up the dog poop in the yard. A little helpful manual labor works better teaching responsibility and accountability. Better than relaxing by going to bed early or not talking on the phone or watching TV.

Lastly, during child discipline always talk to the child in your natural but firm tone. It is not advised to yell or scream. This will bring fear into the child which ultimately will result in them not receiving the message positively. If you are angry, wait a few minutes until you maintain your composure. These tips should help you get positive results when disciplining your children.

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Spare the rod and spoil the child or nature vs. Nurture. What is the best parenting advice that you can get when you have a strong willed child. What I can tell you is dig in and don’t give up. You can make it through. Here are a few reminders in your struggling days of wanting to quit and send them off to boarding school.

More and more I see the children running the home. It is a shame as children need to be taught respect for their elders and to be nurtured while knowing that they cannot get everything they want and should be kind and most of all know they are loved.

It begins around two years of age. Children begin to challenge their surroundings. They realize that there is a line and they want to cross it. It is subtle, and if not given the boundaries children must have to learn between right and wrong. Everyone has their own compass of morality but there are basic standards of respect between parents and children.

I’m all for free thought and children like out of the mouths of babes will say the truth. And if they do not like something they will say it as well. It is a job as a parent to teach a child when and when not says certain things. For example, telling your mom you hate them or hitting them is not right. Set that bar that this kind of behavior is not okay.

If you go to a store or anywhere and buy them something every time you go, guess what? They will expect you to buy them something every time you go to a store. Try teaching them the value of money. Let them spend money by giving them an allowance. They will learn money doesn’t grow on trees. Even if you have money to burn this is a great life lesson to learn. Don’t give your kids a sense of entitlement. Teach them things are earned. The only thing that is free is the love you give them.

Teach your child to appreciate things and say thanks to those who give. And teach them to be giving. No one likes a spoiled child, it’s ugly. Don’t let your child have something if they don’t say please. If it’s a showdown don’t back down. Stand up to the behavior and don’t ignore it.

Sharing is a special gift to teach to children. Whether you have one or ten teach them it is a blessing to share what you have. I’ll never be shocked when seeing a child who gives away something. It is truly a gift. And I’ll never forget the child who constantly says ‘mine’ all the time. We all want to be selfish and we need to teach them not to be.

The biggest lesson you can teach your child is that are loved. And because you love them you care enough to not let them have everything they want or that life is all about them. They will love you for it. Maybe not at that moment, but they will thank you in the future.

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